Happy C Day

Hey everyone.

For those that sent me messages over the last few months.. thank you! I am sorry I haven’t gotten back to you guys until now. I don’t know if it is a site thing or a me thing, but I don’t get notifications anymore. I have though in the past.

I have to be honest in that I have been “missing” for some time for a couple reasons. As you may know I was getting a lot of demands on me as soon as I showed a piece or won a piece to sell it. So I took a mini break after that. I came back only to have yet another minor struggle trying to get a piece sent to me that I had paid for. Both situations worked on perfectly in the end and I appreciate all the encouragement. But I needed a break.

The second reason why I went “missing” is this:

Please know that I am not looking for a sleeve to cry on or anything like that.. just sharing a story in that maybe someone can relate.. or might need a story to relate to at a later time.

My health went downhill fast in the end of August. I have been in out and out of the hospital more than I would like since then. Some many tests, CT scans, Ultra Sounds, X-Rays. I think I must glow in the dark now lol. I think they also have enough blood from me to do a full transfusion.

I have been sent to a specialist now. The biggest concern. I have a history of family cancer. Prostate Cancer. There are indicators that something is not right.. internal bleeding and other symptoms have finally prompted the doctors to start to check for cancer. Which they only started doing in the last few weeks. The last time I was at the specialist I had to sign a bunch of paper work and answer questions about my life style.. things like.. do I live alone.. if I undergo treatments will I have support. Sitting in a waiting room checking off boxes, and screaming in my head “is this real” ? “Do these questions really exist”? As the specialist talked with me.. the entire time in my head I was not thinking about myself, but how was I going to tell my family and friends if I had Cancer. Could I bare having them see me as I went through treatment. Do I have the honest talk with close friends, if things don’t go well.

At this time, no one knows what they are testing for. People at work only know that I have been off for a few weeks due to “health issue”

I am keeping an optimistic outlook in the meantime.  I don’t know if its healthy to think about things if they go both good and bad, and plan for both scenarios, but I have been. It makes things more bearable and less nightmarish. When I think about the scenarios.. its like I am thinking about someone that is not me. Like an out of body experience.

Its funny and somewhat “safe” feeling posting here on the forum this… not something I thought I would do.

I also have been thinking about selling off some of my Windstone Collection. I will post up some items for sale shortly. I will keep a few pieces that are dear to me, but I hope the others will find new homes that will love them as much as I have. Just have to figure out again how to post pictures lol.

– Matty