Discouraged

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  • #1526694
    Matty
    Participant

      Hi everyone this is a message that I hope everyone on here will respect whether or not they like it.

      I am discouraged by this community so much that the time when I would rush home to see what was posted on the site is far behind me. Instead I have anxiety coming here. Members on here have been pushy and rude without cause towards me. I will explain, I will also be clear in how I wish to be treated if I continue to be a member on this site.

      I have now become discouraged from posting any picture of any blind bag item I purchase. Nor will I mention what item I have received ina blind bag. As soon as I do, my inbox is filled with messages with members asking me to trade with them. To be clear.. if I wanted to trade anything.. I will post it in the classifieds. I clearly understand why a few blindbox items have not been shared at all on here. I am not trading my pieces, nor do I have any future plans to do so. If I am messaged asking for a trade.. my reply is “no thank you”. Lets be considerate please. Would you take your dog to the dog park and walk up to another owner and ask them to trade dogs.. simply because they were at the same dog park? There is a polite and proper way of trading. The classifieds.

      The night Melody announced that I was the winner of Silvertree I was so grateful and so happy. The trouble started just then for me. Within the hour of her announcement I received several messages by members.. asking for me to sell Silvertree. One individual messaged me several times, in less than a hour if you can believe it, not congratulating me, but actually demanded a response that I sell Silvertree as this member collects Pegasus has been a member for years and has not won a single raffle and basically suggested that it was unfair that a newer member such as myself win a piece that would be much needed to complete their collection. This message as you can imagine did not take in account of my feelings.

       

      Most recently I organized a Travelling Tadpoad swap. I did this as a pick me up after putting the Silvertree situation behind me. I have now discovered that a member who has certainly received a tadpoad, has not sent one out in return. This more than anything discourages me. I am told that this a long time member on the site. The member that has not received her tadpoad has been very kind and understanding. Since I organized this swap, I feel I must take it on myself to make sure a tadpoad will make it to her and cover the travelling costs of this tadpoad.

      I have tried a few times to message the member that did not send out a tadpoad… they have not replied. I amconsidering contacting a moderator for help.. if one reads this please message me. Either way.. I could not imagine someone getting a tadpoad in the mail.. and not thinking of sending one out. This situation has left me discouraged.. broken hearted, and leaving little trust of members to even consider a swap of any kind. I hope you understand. I can not believe a member would take advantage of another member.

      I will not be looking to organize any future swaps, and I am uncertain of participating in anymore future swaps of any kind. I have decided that at this time I will return to a back seat collector. I admire Melody and her work and will continue to collect and purchase bling bags and support things like her kickstarter.  I have a few friends here… and I am grateful for what they have done for me.. and I will continue to keep in touch with them on here. These members have really made me feel a valued part of the community, with kind emails, and a surprise tadpoad that appeared in my mail that encouraged me to create some fun.

       

      I am sorry everyone for making such a dismal message… but this is how I feel. So if I don’t respond to your message it is because as I said, I am discouraged by those members that have brought me down… and I am thinking of taking a back seat and not participating in this community… which saddens me because it has been at first so wonderful to share the love of the Windstones  Pieces with like minded individuals.

       

      Matty

       

       

      #1526696
      tig3r06
      Participant

        Matty, I am so glad you voiced how you feel. After you told me all this, i was so angry i wanted to write something as well. People do not get to demand and be entitled that they deserve something. You ask nicely and when told no, you stop. Whoever does this, do you really think that gets you somewhere? It makes you a bully.

        To help Matty make up for the tadpoad not received, i will be doing something special for that person along with what Matty is doing. When a few terrible people happen we can all come together and squash this 😍

        #1526697
        Landipan
        Participant

          I’m so sorry that there are members here that have treated you so poorly. Sadly that’s the internet for you, though I’ve always seen WS as a more trustworthy place, but as places get bigger/more popular you run the risk of running into some rotten apples. Just remember that there are more good peeps than the bad! As for the problem with sharing GBs on the forums, I know I’ve run into a member before that left a bad taste in my mouth when it came to a GB piece of mine, when that happens you just gotten ignore and vow never to work with them in the future.

          Just know there are a lot of us here that are happy to have you here and very much want you to stay and be active!

          *hugs*

          *Formerly meowmix101
          Not currently open for PYO commissions.

          #1526699
          Kim
          Blocked

            Sorry to hear that too Matty.  I understand how that feels as I went through something similar a couple years ago with sending someone a trade and not getting one back and getting no replies for a couple months.  It happened to a few of us actually and we did talk to John about the person responsible and it was eventually resolved and we got our pieces finally.  That was just one person I knew of though and they did get a warning if it happened again they would be removed from the forum.  So I would say definitely talk to people if you have any kind of problem to try and get it resolved.  I have also heard of people not responding in the past because of illness or being out of town or having accounts hacked and things like that so it is good to find out what the circumstances are.

            I have also received messages in the past about items I did not list for sale or trade from people offering to buy or trade for them.  On one hand I totally get it if someone wants something and politely asks if it is available or if they can trade for it and if not and they understand then that seems reasonable.  But on the other hand I also understand what it’s like to have anxiety about having to respond to constant emails or messages especially if you have already said no.  I did have to tell one person that their number of emails was a little excessive and then it toned down from there.  I think all of us have been through things like this before though but we’ve learned and things have improved from what I’ve seen.

            I would say from what I have experienced on here in the last few years that I have had 90% good experiences versus maybe 10% bad so I hope the bad won’t discourage you and keep from a community that is filled with good people with good intentions.  For the very small number of bad experiences I have heard about or experienced, I know most were resolved with good communication or just letting people know what our expectations are.  Sometimes things are just miscommunication or people maybe getting over excited and just not thinking when they message someone.  I know most people are respectful though and don’t mean to bother people or cause upset intentionally.  If you suspect anyone is doing something to try and hurt you or anyone else, try and talk to them to see if you can clear things up or if worse comes to worse you can block people on here from messaging you but I hope that you don’t have to and that things will get better.

            Looking for rainbow or pink & teal grab bags!

            #1526706
            Ela_Hara
            Participant

              So Sorry to hear that you’ve had issues Matty.
              This is so Not Cool … We need to respect each other, People.
              Please be considerate and remember the ‘Golden Rule’ ~ “Do unto Others as You would have Done unto You.”

              IN SEARCH OF MY NEXT GRAILS:
              Zeppard Adult Poads
              Kickstarter 'Rainbow Tiger' Bantam Dragon

              *~*~*~* Ela_Hara: The DragonKeeper *~*~*~*
              *** Come visit me on deviantArt at http://ela-hara.deviantart.com

              #1526708
              dragonmedley
              Participant

                While trades/sales/swaps between members is “at your own risk”, being harassed via messages about an item you got/purchased from Windstone Editions is something that the moderators here can address. Do let them know what’s going on! You’re not the first one to whom this happened, unfortunately.

                Hugs!

                Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
                http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
                I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
                http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htm

                #1526711
                StormDancer
                Participant

                  Sorry to hear about this Matty. We had a similar issue on here, I believe,  about a year ago . As I recall most of us felt as you do about it. One or two message were appropriate, but after that it is harassment. I agree with the others who have already posted. Block the member causing issues and be sure to let a moderator know what is going on.

                  I hope that you get the final issue with the Tadpoad swap taken care of as well. Things like that would leave a sour taste in anyones mouth.

                  Respect is key for everyone. It is to bad that some have no idea what respect of others actually is.

                  Try not to let a few bad apples ruin what is a generally good and caring forum for you.

                  Looking for:
                  "COSMIC SHIFT DRAGONS and KI-RINS" and the "OCTOPUS TANUKI TEST PAINT #1"

                  #1526712
                  Celestial Rainstorm
                  Participant

                    Awe man, Matty I am so sorry. That is really and truly uncool. Chin up, we’ve got your back!

                    Finding happiness again.

                    #1526713
                    Jennifer
                    Keymaster

                      I want to write an official rule to make sure people know that harassing one another to sell pieces is not okay. We have a “no harassment” rule, but maybe it’s unclear on what it means to harass, especially when trying to buy a piece that’s not for sale…

                      As community members, how do you suggest I approach this?

                      I don’t really want to go so far as to say that simply contacting each other about any item NOT listed in the classifieds is against the rules, unless you guys really think it should be this way. I have always felt that “I like your dragon, please let me know if you ever want to sell it someday” is pretty innocent (if not repeated!). Am I wrong?

                      I’d appreciate your thoughts on this. I don’t want the forum to be unwelcoming.

                      Disclaimer: I suspect some of you will have different opinions on what level of contact/inquiry is okay … I will consider all standpoints and do my best to compromise the best solution for everyone.

                      Volunteer mod- I'm here to help! Email me for the best response: nambroth at gmail.com
                      My art: featherdust.com

                      #1526715
                      StormDancer
                      Participant

                        I think something along the lines of, “Contacting a forum member about an item that they have is acceptable on a one time basis. If you have been told “No” then it is time to drop the subject.”

                        Personally, I am ok with someone contacting me once a year or so to let me know that they are still interested in something I may have. But I think its to the point that making a one time contact rule is going to be for the best. This subject has come up a few times that I am aware of and it has become apparent that some people are going to take an inch and run a mile if they are allowed any loopholes.

                        Looking for:
                        "COSMIC SHIFT DRAGONS and KI-RINS" and the "OCTOPUS TANUKI TEST PAINT #1"

                        #1526716
                        Natasha
                        Participant

                          I’m sorry to hear this is upsetting you so much, Matty! Yes, most of us have been harassed about pieces we don’t want to sell. I know that most of us have been subject to an upsetting volume of email, many many emails in an hour, from a forum member in the last few months. Also, demands that I tell them exactly what pieces I have, and badgering requests for pictures of pieces I have explicitly said are not for trade or sale. I would suggest you block them on both the forum and your email. It’s unfortunate that some people don’t understand the social niceties that usually make it clear that someone is not interested in further contact. But some people just don’t. That’s when it is really time to use the block buttons. Trust me, your anxiety levels go down when you remove problematic people from your life, and it’s not that hard to do online.

                          We’ve probably all run into a bad trade here or there. As Kim mentioned, most of us got our pieces in the end (or in my case the WRONG piece, not what I bought, but I was just ready to be done with the whole thing and let it go). 95% of my trades have gone perfectly. Another 4% have had issues like late shipping, or package damage, but that’s not as much a concern and they mostly worked out in the end. The 1% of bad experiences are awful, but it seems like there are still far more good people on here than the bad. I’d also HIGHLY suggest everyone always check the feedback lists before trading. Obviously, there can be two sides to every story, but there’s also no smoke without fire.

                          Jennifer, as for your guidelines, I think that adjusting them is a superb idea. I never mind hearing a one time “I love your piece, if you ever decide to trade or sell it, or someone checking in every year to see if anything has changed. I have sold or traded pieces to people who asked years after they first approached me, and have bought pieces in the same way. I don’t mind polite people who acknowledge that the piece in question *Belongs to me and is mine to do with as I please* and ask to be contacted if that ever changes. What I mind is aggressive, multiple emails/messages  that make demands. No one is entitled to a piece just cos they want it. I’ve probably had 20 polite people ask me about pieces, some not in ads. I’ve had one very rude person who could not listen to social cues and still bugged me after they were told I was not going to discuss my collection with them/send them pictures/trade or sell to them. I understand that everyone will have a different opinion, but I’d say something along the lines of  “While it is OK to message a forum member asking if a piece they own is possibly available, harassing someone to sell or trade with you is never acceptable. If a forum member tells you a piece is not for sale or trade, continuing to solicit trade or sale of the piece may result in you being banned from the forum/messaging system. If a forum member asks you to stop contacting them, ONE message saying you understand and will not contact them again is acceptable. Any further communication may result in you being banned from the forum/messaging system.” That’s just my two cents!

                           

                          I don’t know how often people like that read the forum, so maybe when you finalize the statement you want to make, it could be send out on the message system? Just to make sure it gets in front of as many eyes as possible? I don’t know if that’s feasible but I think it would be more effective.

                          Seeking Test Paints & GBs ! Please get in touch if you'd trade/sell. I'll remove pieces from list by owner request
                          ANY Red Eyed Unis
                          ANY Test Paint Bat
                          UNIS:
                          The Purple/Yellow Baby Uni of Awesome
                          Male- Snow Leopard TP
                          White Lighting Male, Pony, Colt and Grand - I have Mom, Baby, & Young
                          Ponycorns: Golden Zebra and/or Spotted Skunk
                          Mother: Okapi
                          Gothic - Mahogany
                          PEGS: Male Midnight Calico, Male Bloodstone, Mother Starlight Rain
                          DRAGONS: Male Coyote

                          #1526717
                          etruscan
                          Participant

                            I think that the rule as suggested is good.  I might suggest a slight amendment (new text in caps for clarity, not for the final version) – “RAFFLE WINS ARE THE PROPERTY OF THE LUCKY WINNER AND FORUM MEMBERS MAY NOT CONTACT THE WINNER TO ASK THAT THE PRIZE BE TRADED OR SOLD.  FOR OTHER WINDSTONES, contacting a forum member about an item that they have  is acceptable on a one time basis. If you have been told “No” then it is time to drop the subject.”

                            No doubt my “Raffle Exception” could be worded better, and maybe others don’t agree that it should be included.  However, several Raffle winners have cited this problem.

                            Like StormDancer I don’t mind an occasional “I’m still interested” message.  On the other hand, maybe it is up to the owner to keep track of persons interested in case a piece needs to be sold in the future.

                            P.S. I was writing my post as Natasha was writing hers so I just saw hers.  Having the penalties in the rule, as she suggests, is a good idea.

                            #1526720
                            Natasha
                            Participant

                              Yeah, I think the raffle exception is a good idea, too. I think putting the raffle piece in your “wanted list” in the classified would be OK, but not contacting someone to sell/trade when they win. So here’s my new suggestion for guidelines:

                               

                              “While it is OK to message a forum member asking if a piece they own is possibly available, harassing someone to sell or trade with you is never acceptable. If a forum member tells you a piece is not for sale or trade, continuing to solicit trade or sale of the piece may result in you being banned from the forum/messaging system. If a forum member asks you to stop contacting them, ONE message saying you understand and will not contact them again is acceptable. Any further communication may result in you being banned from the forum/messaging system. Raffle pieces are a special exception to the rules above. Please only contact a raffle winner if they have posted an ad in the classified section indicating they are looking to trade or sell their prize. It is not OK to solicit sale or trade of a raffle piece that has not been willingly offered for sale or trade by its owner.  ”

                              Seeking Test Paints & GBs ! Please get in touch if you'd trade/sell. I'll remove pieces from list by owner request
                              ANY Red Eyed Unis
                              ANY Test Paint Bat
                              UNIS:
                              The Purple/Yellow Baby Uni of Awesome
                              Male- Snow Leopard TP
                              White Lighting Male, Pony, Colt and Grand - I have Mom, Baby, & Young
                              Ponycorns: Golden Zebra and/or Spotted Skunk
                              Mother: Okapi
                              Gothic - Mahogany
                              PEGS: Male Midnight Calico, Male Bloodstone, Mother Starlight Rain
                              DRAGONS: Male Coyote

                              #1526721
                              Ela_Hara
                              Participant

                                Geez, I’m really sorry that you need to resort to adding a new ‘rule’ Jennifer… but if this is needed for clarity, it’s needed. But it is a shame.

                                I’m also a big advocate of Blocking harassing persons via the Forum’s ‘Block’ feature and, if needed, via your personal email service.

                                IN SEARCH OF MY NEXT GRAILS:
                                Zeppard Adult Poads
                                Kickstarter 'Rainbow Tiger' Bantam Dragon

                                *~*~*~* Ela_Hara: The DragonKeeper *~*~*~*
                                *** Come visit me on deviantArt at http://ela-hara.deviantart.com

                                #1526722
                                Jennifer
                                Keymaster

                                  I am curious about the raffle exception. Would it not suffice to say that it’s not allowed to contact an owner more than once to express interest? This would cover ALL pieces. Why is a raffle item different than something someone fought hard for on eBay or got in a grab bag? I have seen many raffle winners go on to sell their piece.

                                  Volunteer mod- I'm here to help! Email me for the best response: nambroth at gmail.com
                                  My art: featherdust.com

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